Given that Matt Garza will probably start the season on the disabled list, the Cubs are happy to have traded Tony Campana for 17-year-old pitching prospects Erick Leal and Jesus Castillo earlier this week.
“I’m planning on throwing both of them on Opening Day,” said manager Dale Sveum. “I mean, why should I count on our veterans? Clearly our old guys have major injury issues. The future of this team is young blood.”
Cubs owner Tom Ricketts said he hopes to one day be able to have an entire starting lineup of Little League players. “These 17-year-old guys are fine, but have you watched that little league world series? I mean those guys stats are amazing. Favorite Food: Pizza. That’s my favorite food too.”
Despite fan disappointment at Campana being traded, the team is optimistic they can trade every popular player to obtain teenagers you’ve never heard of to play every day. “This is the new Cubs way. Year One – as in 1-year-olds will be playing” beamed Ricketts.