Pitchers and catchers wish they were position players so they could party a few more days
on Feb 11, 2013
Spring Training 2013 got underway Monday morning when pitchers and catchers reported to camp. While some of the players were excited about the prospect of a new campaign, more than a few groused about having to cut their off-season activities short.
“Man, what I wouldn’t give to be a shortstop,” said Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum. “I could still be laying in the cut smoking a big fat blunt right now. But instead, here I am working on my fastball.”
Position players are not required to report to camp until later this week, giving them ample time to party just a few more days.
“What????” said Todd Helton, slurring his words while downing a Solo cup full of wine. “Heyyyy! I won eight bucks with this scratch off lotto ticket! Check it out Miguel!”
Miguel Cabrera, who was drinking a bottle of Crown Royal next to Helton, seemed unimpressed.
“Do you know who I am?” he howled. “I need another Triple Crown and cola!”