Former Cubs and Diamondbacks first baseman Mark Grace, long known for his carefree, good-time lifestyle, was recently sentenced to four months of jail time following an arrest for DUI. While Grace did seem genuinely sorry for driving while intoxicated, some habits die harder, as evidenced by the first thing he asked his new cellmate upon being incarcerated.
“Man, this place is kind of a sausage fest,” said Grace, ever the ladies man. “Where are all the chicks at? Is there like a sports bar in here or something?”
When his cellmate, Petey “Fingers” Morton, told the former All-Star it was an “all-dude” environment, Grace then became visibly nervous.
“Wait, so like a couple thousand guys all in one spot? Oh man — the odds say I probably banged at least like half their wives,” he said. “Guess I better shiv someone to let them know I’m serious.”