Thousands of people across the United States have been flocking to the Pacific Northwest this week upon the state of Washington’s status as the being first in the nation to legalize marijuana for adult recreational use. Among the mass migration to the Evergreen State were half the players currently in the NBA and former Cub Geovany Soto.

Commissioner David Stern was shocked to hear that so many of his league’s players had relocated to the Washington area.

“Seattle is a beautiful city, don’t get me wrong,” said Stern. “But we haven’t had a team there since 2008.”

A large group of NBA players, led by Zach Randolph, Marcus Camby, Joakim Noah and 300 others gathered at the base of Mt. Rainier to “toke up ‘til their heart’s content.”

“Oh yeah, we’re gonna do it big, all day, all night, all year long,” said Noah. “Nobody can stop us now.”

Among those on their way west was former Cub catcher Geovany Soto, who hopped the first flight to Spokane he could find, despite just inking a new one-year deal with the Texas Rangers.

“The World Baseball Classic is coming up soon,” said Soto. “I’ve got to get my work in early this time.”

By Jeremy Barewin

Jeremy Barewin