That white smoke rising from the golden dome in South Bend, Indiana isn’t a riot because Manti Te’o didn’t win the Heisman. It is, instead, the smoke from the University of Notre Dame voting Te’o the next Pope.

“Well, he won every other award that he possibly could, why couldn’t he just get this last one too?” said coach Brian Kelley. “I guess the Pope thing helps take some of the sting out of it.” Kelley then went to his office and cried.

Te’o will reportedly head to Vatican City immediately following Notre Dame’s appearance in the BCS Title Game.

DaBaer