It does not appear that the Big East Conference is done with its recent facelift. Even after news that Tulane and East Carolina will be the next two teams to join the ever-fluctuating league, reports have leaked that reveal who the Big East is targeting next.
Move over UCONN, Georgetown, and Villanova; make way for Hamburger University, Clown College, and the School of Rock.
The Big East Conference was known as the first big super-conference when its membership ballooned to a whopping 16 schools just eight years ago. That didn’t last long as they have seen some of their highest-profile members leave for other conferences.
If you’re keeping track at home, Louisville makes the sixth school to leave just in the past year alone. They will be joining Syracuse, Pittsburgh, and Notre Dame in the ACC, while West Virginia has already leapt to the Big 12, and Rutgers who will join the Big Ten. Those are some of the biggest names in collegiate athletics.
In its mad dash to replace all these schools, the Big East extended invitations to smaller schools that jumped at the chance to join a major conference. These schools include: Memphis, SMU, Houston, Central Florida, Boise St., San Diego St., Navy, Tulane, and East Carolina.
And now the Big East is looking to further expand by adding Hamburger University, Clown College, and the School of Rock as members. The question remains whether the Big East realizes that these are not actual institutions of higher learning with athletic programs, but their interest in them should be of no surprise – it’s money.
“McDonald’s is the largest fast food chain in the world, with revenues in the billions. If the Big East came calling, Hamburger University would listen,” said spokesman Ronald McDonald.
“We perform to sold-out shows every night,” said Clown College commissioner, Happy the Clown. “Our fan base travels well. People will come from all over to watch this circus act.”
The final school in the Big East’s sights is the School of Rock, which has grossed over $130M worldwide, though it is believed that the conference will just play the movie on a loop at all conference games because people seem to love Jack Black, Joan Cusack, and iCarly.