The Chicago Cubs recently signed two short-term, unknown pitchers to fill gaping holes in their 2013 rotation and to act as potential trade deadline bait for suitors willing to give up prospects in exchange. And, after signing both Scott Baker and Scott Feldman, it appears the ball club isn’t done utilizing this philosophy.
General Manager Jed Hoyer announced on Tuesday that the Cubs plan to sign a 42-foot luxury Lake Michigan boat to play third base at least until mid-summer — when the boat will reach its peak value.
“Wer’re hoping she can hit better than Ian Stewart,” said an elated Hoyer. “We know she can at least get onto the field, which is more than we can say for him. Plus, when that July heat comes into Chicagoland, she will be a very valuable piece on the trade market. I’m hoping we have a heat wave and I can get Mike Trout in exchange!”