Responding to the news that Hostess is going out of business, a frantic Lance Berkman rented a U-Haul and has been spotted at various Wal-Marts across the Midwest, reportedly offering as much as twice the retail price for entire crates of Twinkies.
“Of course I’m sad, but the time to grieve will be later,” said Berkman. “Right now, it’s all about the hoarding.”
Berkman, long known for his love of the golden, cream-filled snack cakes, has already begun rationing.
“I normally eat six Twinkies for breakfast and eight for lunch,” he said. “It’s already noon and I’ve only eaten like five. I’m starting to get the shakes, but in the long run this is how it has to be. I think Zombieland started this way.”