Sox fans rejoice: 2013 ticket price decrease means stadium binge drinking increase
by Brew Dreesus
on Oct 25, 2012
White Sox fans rejoiced last week over news that the pricing for 2013 Sox games will be reduced across the board.
“This is the happiest day since I started receiving workers compensation in 2006,” said 46-year-old Jim Stevens, construction worker and Sox fan. “Now I can use this extra cash to put away three more rounds and have no recollection of yelling at umpires incoherently.”
Many people believe this is a move to put as many cut off tees in the seats as possible, but this news is fresh off the Cubs announcing similar cuts. Drinking will increase for both sides, allowing Sox fans to forget their menial odd jobs while Cubs fans can forget the product on the field.
The cuts will range between 23 and 38 percent for all seats, but in White Sox fans terms “two or three High Life’s or a quarter tank for the 85 Firebird.”