Struggling Saints bring back bounty program
on Sep 24, 2012
The Saints fell to 0-3 Sunday and immediately re-instituted the bounty program that got several of their defenders temporarily suspended and their coach banned from the league for an entire season earlier this year.
“We used to be a lot better when we illegally paid our players to put dirty hits on opposing teams’ offensive stars with the intention of knocking them out of the game,” said interim coach Aaron Kromer. “So we have to go back to that right away before this season gets even more out of control.”
Kromer said he would personally issue a $10,000 cash reward to anyone who injures next week’s opposing QB Aaron Rodgers and forces him to miss Sunday’s game.
“It doesn’t even have to be a defender,” said Kromer. “Hell, it doesn’t have to be a player. If a ball boy takes Aaron out in the warmups with a crowbar Nancy Kerrigan style, that lucky fella has $10,000 coming his way.”
Kromer said he didn’t fear the inevitable wrath of Commissioner Roger Goodell.
“I’m sure Roger will come right after me, but it’s a punishment I’ll just have to take,” said Kromer. “It would be the first time anyone affiliated with the Saints stopped an opposing QB all season, so it’s got to be worth something.