After a putrid loss against the Milwaukee Brewers in which they only collected two hits, the New York Mets forgot to show up for their regularly-scheduled home game against the Phillies on Monday night, citing that “we thought the season ended already.”

As is the case with every Mets season, the 2011-12 campaign has been frustrating and brutal for fans, players, and team personnel alike, so the team shouldn’t really be blamed for wanting the 162-game MLB schedule to end 16 games early.

“I guess I have to take responsibility for this since I’m the de facto team captain,” third baseman and soon-to-be-free agent David Wright said Monday night to the press, explaining his team’s absence from that night’s game, which ended in a forfeit win for Philadelphia. “This season is already too damn long and after how crappy we played against the Brewers, most, if not all, of the guys just wanted to go back to their homes for the offseason and get as far away from this dysfunctional mess as possible. I know I was wishing that our last 16 games were cancelled too in order to look for a new team to sign with. However, we got caught so we can’t just skip games anymore. I guess we have to start playing now.”

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig understood and agreed with the decision to forfeit the game.

“Mets baseball is so bad, the guys just need it to stay sane for a little while,” said Selig. “Therefore, their boycotting of the game is legal and justified.”

HecklerJosh