Presidential nominees finally agree on one issue: Hawk Harrelson broadcasts considered inhumane torture
by Brew Dreesus
on Sep 4, 2012
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney made some interesting remarks at last week’s Republican National Convention, outlining his foreign policy headlined by his promise to abolish the use of Hawk Harrelson broadcasts as torture for terrorism inmates.
For the past 20-plus years, Hawk has tortured White Sox fans, leading to numerous self inflicted injuries and children being born with ‘hawking cough,’ a disease where children’s first words are ‘He gone, Dadgumit!”
The Obama camp caught wind of this interesting proposal, and laid out a similar plan to rid the world of Hawk broadcasts, making this the first time in recent history where both nominees can agree on an issue.
Approval ratings for both nominees skyrocketed in Illinois and the rest of the Comcast SportsNet Chicago belt. Winner of the election in November is expected to pressure Congress. The law is unfortunately expected to pass sometime in 2040, the usual congressional response time, sometime near Hawk’s 100th birthday.