Cubs promise that no matter how bad things get they’ll never sign Koyie Hill ever again
on Jul 4, 2012
Fans were shocked to see Koyie Hill back in a Cubs uniform last month after a bevy of injuries to the team’s cadre of catchers. Signed off the Reds’ double-A scrap heap, Hill, who has a lifetime average of .210, eight home runs and seven workable fingers, was just shocked himself to find out that he was wanted back in the Windy City.
“After Dusty and Lou left town, I figured my days in Chicago were permanently over,” said Hill, who was signed by the Nationals a few weeks ago after the Cubs cut him. “I know how those guys like to play the veteran players, but seriously I should’ve been out of the league six or seven years ago.”
Cubs GM Jed Hoyer explained that a mistake was made in their paperwork submission to MLB, and that the claim for “former Cub Hill” was not supposed to be Koyie.
“Rich Hill, Bobby Hill, Glenallen Hill, Bunker Hill, anyone would have been better than what we got,” said Hoyer. “Even if we lose 140 games every year for the next five seasons, I can guarantee you that we will never, ever, never sign Koyie Hill again. Now does anyone know if Damon Berryhill is available?”
By Jeremy Barewin