Mortified Chicagoans realize Jay Cutler is now their only hope for a championship in the next year
on May 11, 2012
As time ran out on the Bulls’ shocking season-ending loss Thursday night in Philly, Chicagoan Phil Logan came to the startling realization that his fair city’s only real hope for a pro sports championship in the next 12 months rested firmly on the shoulders of surly Bears QB Jay Cutler.
“Just a month ago it seemed like the Bulls and Blackhawks had legitimate chances to compete for a title, but now they’re both eliminated,” said Logan. “And baseball in this town is a joke so I guess it’s all up to Cutler and the Bears.”
Cutler — who was most recently seen giving the bird to photographers while walking a three-pound Yorkie — has a mixed playoff record and is protected by a questionable offensive line. Still, he remains Chicago’s best chance at a title anytime soon.
“After the heartbreaking ways the Bulls and Hawks went down, I can’t stand the thought of the Bears having a meltdown,” said Logan. “If that dopey flop-haired man-child can’t get it done again this year, I might just snap.”