Bears GM Phil Emery doesn’t know how the 2012 draft will shake out, but he does know one thing.

“I’m going to do everything I can to uphold the Bears’ hallowed tradition of horrendous wide receivers,” he said. “Just really lousy all-around football players.”

Emery, whose office features posters of David Terrell, Dez White and Rashied Davis, expounded on his 2012 targets.

“We’ve had some wideouts come in for workouts from programs like Indiana and Duke, and we’re really excited about what we’ve seen,” said Emery. “Dropped balls, terrible routes alligator arms — these guys have it all. Some are going the extra mile and missing blocks, even tripping and falling on their face to allow certain interceptions. They’re really showing the staff they want it.”

Before excusing himself for a conference call with Jerricho Cotchery’s representatives, Emery exhibited more fealty to a Bears tradition. “And don’t think I’m getting any competent offensive linemen either.”

Quinn Perkins