Bothered by injuries to star players this 2012 season, the Bulls have resorted to science to keep them in title contention. Unfortunately, when attempting to clone star point guard Derrick Rose, name specification issues arose and Bulls instead cloned notorious MLB’s hits leader Pete Rose.

Fans are angered by this miscue, but Bulls players are excited to see what Pete can bring to the court and their pocket books.

“‘Charlie Hustle’ cannot throw down for his life since he’s ‘five-foot-11’ and all,” said impressed center Joakim Noah, “but he introduced me to this nice ex-ref Tim Donaghy, told me to take the under in tonight’s game. Nice guys.”

Image by Joel Nielsen
Brew Dreesus